Time of Transition

[giftsofglory]

He made no move to return Mello to his room when morning came. In fact, a good week later there was still no move being made to that extent, and on that morning, when Mello woke it was to the now usual configuration of Sephiroth being wound around him, pinning his hands. This time, however, the act was accompanied by the silver haired man actually being asleep still.

Not to say they hadn't been spending all their time together, but Mello hadn't had the chance to see him asleep until then, him holding out for the blond to sleep and then rising before he could.

Comments

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"There was a full group project. I killed most of the severely unstable ones, my lover came with me, and the two healing dispositioned killed themselves because they were too gentle to handle things after they were free of observation."

[gunsandchocolate]

"Sucks." Mello spat the word dispassionately, even if the more kindly-dispositioned ones hadn't deserved it. They were probably better off dead, in this world.

"Your lover was a freak too." He hadn't realized that, actually.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He growled lowly, a feral glint in his eyes. "My lover was the most perfect creature that ever walked this earth." His voice was low and clear. "And I will accept no other view."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You stopped accepting my views long before I mentioned him," Mello pointed out sourly. He knew logically he shouldn't push this point again, but it was so tempting. If only because it actually elicited a reaction, because he knew that, unlike anything else he'd tried, this topic actually affected Sephiroth.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You do not get to speak about him." His voice was hushed. "Do not make me undo all I've fixed these last days, because my fire comes so much more easily than healing."

[gunsandchocolate]

"Oh, I see." Mello's voice was also quiet, deeply hateful.

"I don't get to talk about him, but I do get to be his makeshift replacement."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He actually quieted a moment. "You do have some similar qualities, but you could never replace him or be him,and I wouldn't want you to."

[gunsandchocolate]

"But I'm still here because of some shoddy, desperate attempt on your part to fill the void." His voice was flat. Obviously, there was no sympathy; all chance of that had faded long ago.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You're here because you captivated me, yes, and I am tired of being lonely." There was no remorse in his voice. "But I already told you that."

[gunsandchocolate]

"With methods like this, you'll always be alone," Mello told him softly. He wasn't scoffing or arguing. He was completely serious this time.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Then it will have to be good enough." He finally pulled his hands back from the healing, petting the undamaged skin before turning to collect the bandages.

[gunsandchocolate]

"We both suffer. No one's happy. Why can't you understand that?"

Mello sighed, watching him.

"How long until it's healed?" It did hurt a little less; maybe it was wishful thinking though.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Another day or two." It was said quietly. "If you would just... give, we would both be happy, I know we would be." He leaned down, kissed his forehead.

[gunsandchocolate]

"No, you don't know that at all. You just hope. You think you'll be less lonely if I behave like your pet like you want, but you really won't be." He ignored the kiss, didn't react or try to pull away. He was sort of tired after all, and it seemed, for now, he wasn't up to his usual shouting arguments.

"And I keep telling you I won't do that anyway."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No, we would be." He stroked his cheek. "You were so sweet while you weren't -fighting-."

[gunsandchocolate]

"I wasn't happy. Fuck, I was barely conscious," Mello growled. He only vaguely remembered those times. He wished he didn't remember even that, since he recalled how open he'd been to Sephiroth's touch and how good it had felt, unnaturally good, but only because the bastard had fucked with his head.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You understood who I was and accepted it anyway. I made sure." He shook his head slowly. "You proved you could be my good boy."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello laughed bitterly. "I can't say I understood much of anything." He could remember that much, the confusion and grogginess. "I was delirious."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Yes, but you knew I was Sephiroth."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You really don't understand what being fucking delirious means, do you?" he snapped, taking no credit for his actions earlier. He hadn't cared then. He hadn't had the capacity to, and it wasn't his fault.

"You might as well have drugged me. It doesn't fucking count."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Everything counts. All I did was keep you from going insane with pain."

[gunsandchocolate]

"So you drove me insane with something else. I'd have preferred the pain." He wasn't lying, even knowing how bad it should have been.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No. It was better this way."

[gunsandchocolate]

"Stop making choices for me."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I never will you know." He ran a fingertip down his cheek. "I haven't taken any drastic measures with you, but this incident shows I need to before your stubbornness harms you irreparably."