Time of Transition

[giftsofglory]

He made no move to return Mello to his room when morning came. In fact, a good week later there was still no move being made to that extent, and on that morning, when Mello woke it was to the now usual configuration of Sephiroth being wound around him, pinning his hands. This time, however, the act was accompanied by the silver haired man actually being asleep still.

Not to say they hadn't been spending all their time together, but Mello hadn't had the chance to see him asleep until then, him holding out for the blond to sleep and then rising before he could.

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[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

Finally, he decided that was enough, and he deliberately made noise as he moved through the house, opening and closing the front door, then the bedroom door, which he lingered in, dressed back how he'd looked when he'd first met Mello face to face, hair braided, clothes carefully a casual business style. He was barefoot though, giving the implication of being courteous enough to not drag dirt through the house on his shoes. "Mello."

[gunsandchocolate]

He didn't even look up to see who it was. He didn't care. Mello lay where he was, crying loudly and breathlessly, shaking uncontrollably.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I came to check on you when I heard something happened to your Nakago." It was a murmur and he padded over, kneeling to touch his hair.

[gunsandchocolate]

"Get out," Mello snarled through his sobs, curling up away from the touch.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No. I let you have all the freedom you wanted and now you're a sobbing mess on the floor." He reached out and hauled the man into his lap. one arm securing around him as the other pet his hair.

[gunsandchocolate]

Something about the man was familiar, and Mello knew him and didn't at the same time, not entirely coherent.

He didn't want to be touched, though.

As soon as Sephiroth pulled him into his lap, he was struggling and screaming obscenities, clawing at him viciously. He wanted to be left alone with his misery.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Shhh." He shifted his hold so he was just holding onto him, letting the man work out his fury and waiting him out. "I'm not going away. Shhhh. Grieve, attack, fine, but I'm not going away."

[gunsandchocolate]

He kept up fighting for a long time, still crying, still cursing, trying his best to outright murder Sephiroth, hands around his throat and squeezing hard.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He forced the hands down away from his throat, but otherwise did nothing to retaliate, just making soothing noises as he persisted in the proximity.

[gunsandchocolate]

"Go away," Mello insisted loudly, breathlessly. "Get out! I don't want you! I want Nakago! Bring him back!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"If I could bring back the dead, don't you think I would have done that for the one -I- lost?" His voice stayed the same, gentle tone. "Just you and me now Mello."

[gunsandchocolate]

"No!" he continued to protest, screaming hysterically. "Get out get out get out!" He was doing everything he could to shove Sephiroth away, still only half-knowing who he was but not caring in the least. "Get out!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No. Now go to sleep, we're going back home." He pressed against the nerves on his neck, making sure to use the focus of knocking Mello out in the mindscape before making sure he was firmly unconscious in reality so he could move off and get Mello settled in his lap in the livingroom, even going so far as to dig out a pair of pants for the blond and dressing him before he let off the mental pressure so he could come back around in his real house, with the real him.

Now to see how the little trip had affected the man.

[gunsandchocolate]

"No, no, no," Mello sobbed, struggling weakly, but he was exhausted and broken and it didn't take long before he was limp in Sephiroth's arms.

He didn't come around immediately even when he was given the chance, burying himself into the darkness of unconsciousness because reality brought pain. He couldn't stay there forever though, and finally he stirred, opening his eyes-- now blank and tired and lacking the fire from before.

Staring at Sephiroth as if he didn't see him, Mello simply lay there, breathing faintly.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He stroked his cheek, tilting his face up and peering into his eyes, voice soft. "Mello. My detective, do you remember me?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"No." He did. It was just a protest, not a denial. "I want Nakago. Go away."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You're not going to get Nakago, and I'm not going to go away." He shook his head, kissed his forehead. "But it's fine. I can be patient. I've been patient this long after all."

[gunsandchocolate]

"He's not dead," Mello whispered hoarsely, struggling to recall what was real and what was not. How long had he been gone? Wait... not gone but... Or had he been gone after all? He didn't know. His head hurt and his chest ached and he couldn't breathe.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Is that what is true or what you want to believe Mello?" His voice was low, soft, and he stroked his fingers gently, carefully over his hair.

[gunsandchocolate]

"You... You pulled me into that... place." He spoke softly, monotone. He didn't struggle again, unmoving in Sephiroth's arms, eyes unfocused.

"It wasn't real. You're lying."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He sighed softly and held Mello's eyes, cupping his cheek. "What do you believe is true? I brought you home again after giving you all the freedom you wanted. You'd be no good there like this."

[gunsandchocolate]

But that hadn't been his house.

...or had it? Mello honestly didn't know anymore. The trouble with a universe controlled by his thoughts was that, like a dream, his mind created the things he'd wanted to see. And yet he didn't understand this, or couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. Vast intelligence did him no good when the attack was from the inside, building up a dream and then destroying it.

Mello stared listlessly, hollowly repeating, "I don't believe anything you say. You're lying." He didn't know what Sephiroth was lying about but he was. Nakago couldn't be dead. This was a nightmare. He wanted to wake up now, please.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I haven't declared anything Mello, I've only asked you questions. How can a question lie?" He leaned down and kissed his forehead. "But you're home now, so you have all the time you need to think about it."

[gunsandchocolate]

There was that logic he didn't want to think about. The questions he didn't want to have to answer.

Mello tipped his head away from the kiss. "This isn't my home. I want to go home. I want to go home..."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I don't want you to be alone Mello. I want you to do what you feel you need to and stay with -me-. It's terrible being alone and I don't want you to be there while you grieve." He stroked his cheek. "So yes, it is home. There isn't any other home for you to have, is there?"