Time of Transition

[giftsofglory]

He made no move to return Mello to his room when morning came. In fact, a good week later there was still no move being made to that extent, and on that morning, when Mello woke it was to the now usual configuration of Sephiroth being wound around him, pinning his hands. This time, however, the act was accompanied by the silver haired man actually being asleep still.

Not to say they hadn't been spending all their time together, but Mello hadn't had the chance to see him asleep until then, him holding out for the blond to sleep and then rising before he could.

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[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Is that what is true or what you want to believe Mello?" His voice was low, soft, and he stroked his fingers gently, carefully over his hair.

[gunsandchocolate]

"You... You pulled me into that... place." He spoke softly, monotone. He didn't struggle again, unmoving in Sephiroth's arms, eyes unfocused.

"It wasn't real. You're lying."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He sighed softly and held Mello's eyes, cupping his cheek. "What do you believe is true? I brought you home again after giving you all the freedom you wanted. You'd be no good there like this."

[gunsandchocolate]

But that hadn't been his house.

...or had it? Mello honestly didn't know anymore. The trouble with a universe controlled by his thoughts was that, like a dream, his mind created the things he'd wanted to see. And yet he didn't understand this, or couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. Vast intelligence did him no good when the attack was from the inside, building up a dream and then destroying it.

Mello stared listlessly, hollowly repeating, "I don't believe anything you say. You're lying." He didn't know what Sephiroth was lying about but he was. Nakago couldn't be dead. This was a nightmare. He wanted to wake up now, please.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I haven't declared anything Mello, I've only asked you questions. How can a question lie?" He leaned down and kissed his forehead. "But you're home now, so you have all the time you need to think about it."

[gunsandchocolate]

There was that logic he didn't want to think about. The questions he didn't want to have to answer.

Mello tipped his head away from the kiss. "This isn't my home. I want to go home. I want to go home..."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I don't want you to be alone Mello. I want you to do what you feel you need to and stay with -me-. It's terrible being alone and I don't want you to be there while you grieve." He stroked his cheek. "So yes, it is home. There isn't any other home for you to have, is there?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"No..." Mello sobbed, denial and agreement all at once. There was no home when he was alone.

"But... Mail..." Wouldn't the cat starve by himself? He regretted suddenly as he remembered how cruel he'd been, shoving the cat away, probably painfully. He didn't differentiate in his mind anymore between the cat in the dream and his own. "I want him here..."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He stroked his hair softly. "He ran away I think, because I didn't see any cat when I collected you. If you want a cat though, well, you can have a cat. Would you like that?"

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello broke down crying again, crushed that he couldn't even have that part of his real home back.

"I want you to find him," he practically begged. He was too tired and upset to care how broken he suddenly appeared, curling up in Sephiroth's lap and clutching at him desperately.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He slowly stroked his hair, thinking rather seriously on how to comply with -that-. He knew what the feline had looked like, it had been a reflection of himself after all, but finding a cat that looked like that might be a bit more difficult. "I will try."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello nodded, crying quietly into his shoulder.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He cuddled the blond against him and rubbed his cheek on his hair. "It will all be fine eventually, you'll see."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You're wrong," Mello insisted hollowly. "You're lying. I hate you."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You have me and I have you. You'll learn to care about me and be content with being mine eventually." He continued to pet him, soothing strokes. "You can rest for now, I'll be here."

[gunsandchocolate]

"I don't want to be here..." But Mello was fighting a losing battle. All the crying and grief and the mental exertion (not to mention the fact he actually was still injured, despite the apparent lapse in time) had exhausted him.

He didn't struggle further, crying himself softly to sleep.