Time of Transition

[giftsofglory]

He made no move to return Mello to his room when morning came. In fact, a good week later there was still no move being made to that extent, and on that morning, when Mello woke it was to the now usual configuration of Sephiroth being wound around him, pinning his hands. This time, however, the act was accompanied by the silver haired man actually being asleep still.

Not to say they hadn't been spending all their time together, but Mello hadn't had the chance to see him asleep until then, him holding out for the blond to sleep and then rising before he could.

Comments

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Actually, that is an -entirely- different thing than what I want just now." He nuzzled inward.

[gunsandchocolate]

"Tough." He didn't like the way Sephiroth kept nudging closer, trying to arch away from him, into the bed.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He laughed softly and didn't stop. "Yes, isn't it?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"Not what I meant." Even though he knew Sephiroth was aware. There was nowhere left to go though, not when he was pinned like this and burying himself into the mattress wasn't working out too well.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Then tell me what you meant my detective." He purred the words, nuzzling at his groin.

[gunsandchocolate]

"I meant I won't be giving you what you want." That didn't include that he couldn't stop Sephiroth from taking it. But he would not be giving it willingly. Nor would he allow himself to take pleasure in the touches or the nuzzling, feeling more resentment than anything close to arousal despite the intimate nature of the gesture.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"And how do you know what it is I want, my detective? I didn't tell you." He laughed softly and breathed in deeply, nuzzling along the skin and taking his time getting to know the soft sensation.

[gunsandchocolate]

He couldn't escape physically and so Mello began to do what he often did in similar situations now and wall himself in mentally, tuning out the touches as much as he could.

"Doesn't matter. I never like what you want."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He tisked softly, then nipped his skin, reaching mentally and hooking his mental fingers in to keep him fully in tune with what is going on. "You can't think I wasn't monitoring you. Honest responses now."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello noticed the change immediately, how his attention was suddenly snapped onto every physical sensation, and he struggled harder in sudden panic.

"Don't do that! Stop it!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I will not have you pretending you don't notice what is going on. I changed nothing but making sure you pay attention."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You can't do that," he gasped, trying to pry his wrists loose, twisting them angrily in Sephiroth's hold. "You can't make me." The fact that he, however, could was the worst part, the part that was much more awful than being touched intimately or spoken down to.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He pressed gently, but firmly, down on him. "I am only making you pay attention my detective, I am not making you do anything else. If my touch truly repels you, then what worry do you -have-?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"I don't care if you're not doing anything! Get out!" he argued. It always made him feel vaguely sick, knowing Sephiroth could manipulate his mind like that, just knowing he was on the verge of it even if he didn't.

His touch did repel him. That part wasn't feigned. But Sephiroth was taking away his coping mechanism of ignoring, pushing it away and trying not to feel, because it was so much worse to be forced to pay attention to the way unwanted touches felt on his skin.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No. If you would pay attention on your own, I wouldn't need to make you, so it's really your own fault." He smiled slightly, pressed kisses against soft skin.

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello ground his teeth, instead of ignoring him this time pouring all of his attention into hating. Hating every kiss, every brush of skin. Sephiroth's manipulation of him in this way was only fueling his disgust and loathing, so it really wasn't hard.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He was satisfied with that, and his touch never turned from being very gentle. "I wonder, my detective, if I can make you crave being touched ungently if I make you hate softness enough?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"It's you I hate," he pointed out quietly. He didn't see how it made any difference.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Emotions, I've found, don't always work how you want them to." He kissed his belly softly, then nuzzled down to the soft soft skin of his cock, fully aware, and oddly pleased, he wasn't aroused yet.

[gunsandchocolate]

Sephiroth was right-- but Mello chose to be stubborn. He did not react when he was touched there either, except a subtle narrowing of his eyes.

Some part of him had to wonder if Sephiroth was right, or rather, if it was better to be treated cruelly and violently by his captor. It seemed more natural than softness. It seemed, as he suppressed the shiver running up his spine, preferable to trying to battle pleasure and disgust all at once.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

Pleased, very pleased to be starting from complete lack of reaction, he nuzzled down, against the base of the soft skin, and ran his tongue against the, he was sure, just as sensitive place. He had, after all, allowed the blond to go mostly unmolested in that particular area up to now outside being cleaned.

[gunsandchocolate]

A soft exhale of surprise was his only reaction. There was a slight tingle, like his body knew that should feel nice, but he was so caught up in who was touching him that it was far from pleasant in his mind.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He didn't mind, listening closely, and just thoroughly exploring the curve of the loose skin under his lips. He'd work his way back up in a little while, this was a perfectly fine place to start.

[gunsandchocolate]

To be honest, after the first attempt to quell reaction (he couldn't quiet ignore it, thanks to Sephiroth, but he could fight it), things were surprisingly easier. He got used to the sensation. It didn't feel badly, but arousal was rarely an entirely physical occurrence, and he simply kept his mind from straying there, slowly listing things in his head of the ways in which Sephiroth had wronged him. Those first few weeks still made his stomach turn. Hardly arousing material.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He could tell that the blond wasn't thinking pleasant things, but, ultimately, those weren't untrue things, and he didn't interfere, lips drifting up and sideways with a soft hum. "Why so intent on when I left you alone?"