Time of Transition

[giftsofglory]

He made no move to return Mello to his room when morning came. In fact, a good week later there was still no move being made to that extent, and on that morning, when Mello woke it was to the now usual configuration of Sephiroth being wound around him, pinning his hands. This time, however, the act was accompanied by the silver haired man actually being asleep still.

Not to say they hadn't been spending all their time together, but Mello hadn't had the chance to see him asleep until then, him holding out for the blond to sleep and then rising before he could.

Comments

[gunsandchocolate]

"Oh, I see." Mello's voice was also quiet, deeply hateful.

"I don't get to talk about him, but I do get to be his makeshift replacement."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He actually quieted a moment. "You do have some similar qualities, but you could never replace him or be him,and I wouldn't want you to."

[gunsandchocolate]

"But I'm still here because of some shoddy, desperate attempt on your part to fill the void." His voice was flat. Obviously, there was no sympathy; all chance of that had faded long ago.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You're here because you captivated me, yes, and I am tired of being lonely." There was no remorse in his voice. "But I already told you that."

[gunsandchocolate]

"With methods like this, you'll always be alone," Mello told him softly. He wasn't scoffing or arguing. He was completely serious this time.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Then it will have to be good enough." He finally pulled his hands back from the healing, petting the undamaged skin before turning to collect the bandages.

[gunsandchocolate]

"We both suffer. No one's happy. Why can't you understand that?"

Mello sighed, watching him.

"How long until it's healed?" It did hurt a little less; maybe it was wishful thinking though.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Another day or two." It was said quietly. "If you would just... give, we would both be happy, I know we would be." He leaned down, kissed his forehead.

[gunsandchocolate]

"No, you don't know that at all. You just hope. You think you'll be less lonely if I behave like your pet like you want, but you really won't be." He ignored the kiss, didn't react or try to pull away. He was sort of tired after all, and it seemed, for now, he wasn't up to his usual shouting arguments.

"And I keep telling you I won't do that anyway."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No, we would be." He stroked his cheek. "You were so sweet while you weren't -fighting-."

[gunsandchocolate]

"I wasn't happy. Fuck, I was barely conscious," Mello growled. He only vaguely remembered those times. He wished he didn't remember even that, since he recalled how open he'd been to Sephiroth's touch and how good it had felt, unnaturally good, but only because the bastard had fucked with his head.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You understood who I was and accepted it anyway. I made sure." He shook his head slowly. "You proved you could be my good boy."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello laughed bitterly. "I can't say I understood much of anything." He could remember that much, the confusion and grogginess. "I was delirious."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Yes, but you knew I was Sephiroth."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You really don't understand what being fucking delirious means, do you?" he snapped, taking no credit for his actions earlier. He hadn't cared then. He hadn't had the capacity to, and it wasn't his fault.

"You might as well have drugged me. It doesn't fucking count."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Everything counts. All I did was keep you from going insane with pain."

[gunsandchocolate]

"So you drove me insane with something else. I'd have preferred the pain." He wasn't lying, even knowing how bad it should have been.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No. It was better this way."

[gunsandchocolate]

"Stop making choices for me."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I never will you know." He ran a fingertip down his cheek. "I haven't taken any drastic measures with you, but this incident shows I need to before your stubbornness harms you irreparably."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You haven't? Right." Mello scoffed in disbelief. "Fuck off." He was healed for the day. He could say that now.

So, according to Sephiroth, taking away his personal freedoms, even the simplest choices of when to eat and such, none of that was 'drastic'? The thought made Mello's stomach turn. He didn't want to find out what he really meant-- but, unfortunately, was aware that he probably would.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No. I haven't touched anything outside of you. I have left an open -choice- for you. Perhaps that was my mistake. It would have been wiser of me to destroy all your connections to the outside world."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello froze.

He hadn't been expecting that. So far, everything Sephiroth had done was personal, intensely so. He'd never imagined the man would bother going beyond that.

Sitting up suddenly, Mello ignored the pain that the abrupt motion caused, lifting his chin so he could get as close to eye-level as possible, jaw tense.

"You can't," he growled coldly. He'd been very careful of that, at least. He'd refused to say where he lived or with whom-- unless Sephiroth had found out. Did he dare to bluff?

He had to. He had to bank on the fact his close connections were generally kept a secret, on the fact they often moved houses and there should be nothing tying him with outward evidence to any one place or person intimately.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I know the name of your lover, and it's an unusual name. I watched you, so I know what area you live in, and I know what department you worked for. It would be very simple to tear all those things to pieces. I've done it before."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You're bluffing. You don't know what department I work for," Mello corrected, even if the rest startled and unnerved him slightly.

"And you don't know the name of my lover." Both were impossible. He never spoke of his personal affairs, and had been extra-careful not to here. And he didn't work for any one department, either, not for any extended period of time. He worked privately, and was hired by others as extra help on tough cases; he could feasibly work all over the world, and had. Sephiroth had to be bluffing.