Time of Transition

[giftsofglory]

He made no move to return Mello to his room when morning came. In fact, a good week later there was still no move being made to that extent, and on that morning, when Mello woke it was to the now usual configuration of Sephiroth being wound around him, pinning his hands. This time, however, the act was accompanied by the silver haired man actually being asleep still.

Not to say they hadn't been spending all their time together, but Mello hadn't had the chance to see him asleep until then, him holding out for the blond to sleep and then rising before he could.

Comments

[gunsandchocolate]

Cursing softly when Sephiroth's grip tightened, Mello was about to snap at him, but then those arms loosened suddenly and Mello snatched his opportunity.

He tore away violently, stumbling out of bed and sprinting for the door, his first desire being to get as far away as he could so Sephiroth couldn't trap him with mind games, as he'd been doing.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He didn't even try to get up, knowing the radius leash worked even without his attention, and instead buried his face in the pillow, letting the blond move away for a moment before growling darkly at him. "Never wake me that way without cause -ever- again."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello had been under the impression there was no way the man's hold was as strong when he was sleeping, or even half asleep. But he was wrong. He barely made it out of the room, opening the door and crumpling to his knees just two steps outside it. He was still close enough to hear Sephiroth's words.

Panting, knees smarting from the sharp contact with the ground, Mello was forced to drag himself back, sitting just in the doorframe and leaning against the wood as he gave Sephiroth a dirty, loathing look.

"I saw an opportunity. Cause enough."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I don't care about the attack." He rolled out of bed, his low slung sleep pants barely hanging on his frame. Then he stalked toward him, barely contained fury written all over him. "But never do that -again-."

[gunsandchocolate]

"Do what?" If he didn't care about the attack, Mello had no idea what he was talking about.

He didn't even bother getting up off the floor. He was trapped either way, so he glared up at Sephiroth from where he sat.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He knelt and his touch was very very delicate as he turned a lock of blond hair in his fingers. "Every other morning I have woken knowing you are you, my detective. Today I did not and I refuse to let you cause me that kind of pain, understand me?"

[gunsandchocolate]

Suddenly, Mello understood, and the smirk he turned up at Sephiroth was unmistakeably cruel.

"You thought I was your dead lover. How sentimental."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

His eyes narrowed then, and he was on him a moment later, both hands cupping Mello's face and tipping it up as he straddled his lap. "I don't think you understand. Allow me to show you."

Then he called up that soul crushing sensation of pain that half beat of instinctive comfort and hope being dashed caused and shoved it into Mello's perception, not caring how he'd take it. No, he just wasn't going to feel it by himself.

[gunsandchocolate]

In reality, that sort of pain was nothing new to Mello. He'd lost his best friend not all that long ago, after all-- and then his own lover, in a much different way, and the pain he suffered being torn away from his life was very similar.

However, he wasn't ready for all of that suddenly and inexplicably shoving itself into his mind, emotions surging and pain suffocating in his chest. Mello gasped sharply, eyes wide and suddenly brimming with tears, and stared at Sephiroth with uncomprehending horror.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"That's what you did." His voice was a low, sharp murmur as he ran his thumbs gently over his cheeks. "That was right now, and you had all the warning I did. Never do that to me again."

[gunsandchocolate]

Sephiroth's fingers wiped the slow trickle of tears from his cheeks and Mello realized he was shaking, chest tight and breathing uneven.

"That's--" He paused, hiccuped a sob, tried again. "That's what you've been doing to me for weeks!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"It's been almost a year since I felt that every day." His voice was gentle, low, and he continued to wipe the tears away as he petted his face. "A few weeks is nothing to over four years, and I'm not going to go back to that now, understand? -Your- hurt will fade quickly, and I've been trying very hard to minimize it, but you make it so -difficult-!"

[gunsandchocolate]

"There you go again!" Mello screamed suddenly, slapping his hands away. He'd stopped crying, but was clearly still upset, sad and very angry all at once.

"You keep saying you 'care' and shit but all you care about is yourself! You think I don't know what it feels like to lose someone? Well, I fucking do, and you move on! It's fucking hard but you do it, and how dare you assume you can just take me from my life and make me forget and be happy with my fucking kidnapper? How dare you say my pain is less, and I'm the one at fault for being kept here as your little pet day in and day out, invading my mind and everything I do and refusing even to see me as a person?" His voice was raw, he was screaming so loudly, right in Sephiroth's face, trying to shove the larger man off his lap.

"No. I'm not taking this anymore! Get away from me, Sephiroth! Don't you fucking touch me and talk down to me like my feelings matter less than yours! Don't you fucking dare!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He growled and grabbed his hands, tightening his fingers on him at once with a vicious growl. "If I meant it like that I would have said it like that and I did -not-. I never do and you don't listen in the least. You would save yourself so much pain if you'd just -listen- to the things I say. I will claim that your pain is less. You lost someone. Fine. I lost the other half of -myself-. The degree of connection the two of us had is more than you can even comprehend for the simple fact that you don't -understand what I am- enough to figure it out. You can't give me that even if you wanted to, so why should I be more concerned, hmm? Do you want me to really treat you how you believe I do? You'll regret it I promise you."

[gunsandchocolate]

He hissed in pain at the bruising force of Sephiroth's grip but tried to tear free anyway, snarling in his face, absolutely livid.

"I don't give a fuck who or what you are. You have no right to judge that. And I fucking hate how you keep insisting you're oh-so-considerate and I'm simply not paying attention. Well, fuck you."

He spat at Sephiroth's face, lips curled in a grimace of anger and disdain.

"Fuck you, Sephiroth. Keep living that illusion. And I'm just going to keep fighting you no matter what you think."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He moved all at once, releasing one of his wrist to backhand him, feeling fire simmering in his blood. "Do not press any more."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello hissed and bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, the blow strong enough to whip his head to the side and daze him.

But, at this point, he barely even noticed. He was so angry, adrenaline rushing in his blood, and no one would have been able to guess they'd both been sleeping soundly twenty minutes ago.

"Why not?" he demanded in a low, livid growl. "Because I'm right and you know it, but you're going to deny it forever? Yeah. I know. Now fuck off."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You want me to not care? I'll show you what happens when I -don't care-." He didn't give himself a chance to rethink it, careful plans ruined for the moment as he let his fire flare out of his blood with the next blow hit, his other hand curling on his shoulder and shoving him down, utterly uncaring of the searing he knew he was causing. There was no right of his to push and push like this. No right.

[gunsandchocolate]

He felt the hand at his shoulder first, even before he registered the fire. Mello was shoved down, back hitting the floor, and he gasped loudly at the sudden surge of pain, so hot, searing, burning pain. He barely felt the blow. Everything was one, agony extending from his shoulder upward, and Mello screamed before he could even realize what he was doing, thrashing violently in Sephiroth's grip.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

That just made him hold tighter, snarling as he jerked his hand away from his face before he could accidentally blind him, catching him lower on his chest in an attempt to make him be still. It took a long moment for his mind to even process the fire licking up from his hands was the reason behind the thrashing and make it stop.

[gunsandchocolate]

Fingers dug into his raw, bleeding skin and Mello's screams broke into choking, gasping sobs and cries. His hands tore at Sephiroth's wrists, nails breaking skin, and he continued to struggle instinctively, every nerve in his body screaming at him to get away from the source of the pain even though he couldn't. Agony seared his senses and he couldn't even tell at the moment exactly where it hurt, eyes squeezed shut against the blinding pain that seemed to consume all of him. His body arched up, legs kicking, doing anything he could on instinct to try to get away, but it didn't really hurt any less even when the actual fire disappeared.

His cries faded into ragged whimpering and gasping, nails still digging into Sephiroth's wrists painfully.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He was calmed on some instinctive level by the show of pain, it making it clear he was the one in charge of this situation, and it gave him the presence of mind to do something before the blond made the burns worse, reaching mentally and flipping that switch that said 'pain bad' to 'pain good'.

[gunsandchocolate]

Now that startled him about as much as the initial burning contact did. Mello's eyes flew open and he cried out again, this time with an entirely different tenor to his voice. His hands fell away from Sephiroth to scratch mindlessly at the ground instead, spine arching and chest heaving. After all, no matter the sensation, there was a whole lot of it rushing through him right now.

He was barely coherent, utterly confused by the foreign pleasure surging through his body, mixing with the pain, and all he knew was that it was wrong. His body was going into shock from the overwhelming pain despite his current perception of it, and he was gasping too-quickly for breath, still convulsing on the floor beneath Sephiroth.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

It was better, and he crooned softly to him, pressing down to the side of the burns to keep him against the ground, stilling him from moving as much as his other hand moved to try to work on the worst of the damage.

[gunsandchocolate]

He fell still soon enough, simply shuddering and gasping shallowly. He didn't really feel Sephiroth's hands on him or whatever he was doing, hovering somewhere on the edge of consciousness and twitching with the occasional pang of pain and pleasure that made him choke, fingers spasmodically curling in the carpet.