Breaking point

[giftsofglory]

Mello had tried his patience on many levels since he'd acquired him. He'd bit, kicked, punched, clawed,and every other means of vicious attack he could try in the time he'd had him. None of that had really bothered him. Hurt, yes, but aside from the lone groin shot it had never made him angry.

Having his warnings ignored, however, did. He'd been very kind to the man on this day. He'd coddled him, let him roam loose on the grounds, and even let him attack and play without much int he way of retaliation. However, there was a point when enough was enough and he was still a healthy male in his prime.

He'd been trying to control himself because he didn't want to break his pet, but his pet insisted on doing something deliberately after finding out it was arousing? No.

That was an invitation.

Thus, that led to this, him bringing him into a room he hadn't intended to use for a few weeks yet, if that soon, and him flipping the man off his shoulders to press him down, belly down, on a soft, padded mattress. There were other things in the room, but they were nicely closeted away. No, first he'd make the man feel him, then he'd move on to -training- him.

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[gunsandchocolate]

"That's not the point," he insisted loudly, viciously, and looked like he might start throwing things again from the way he was standing on-edge, eyes wild.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Then what is?" He met his eyes, waiting.

[gunsandchocolate]

"I keep repeating and you never listen." Sephiroth was stronger than him directly, but he suddenly made a grab for his shirt anyway, trying to yank him down to his level and spitting out, livid:

"I. Am. Not. Your. Pet. Nor will I ever be! I'd rather die!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He allowed him to manhandle him, seeming to consider his words. "Why is that better?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"I'd rather die as a person than live as your dog," he snarled. And this time, he meant it. He'd sunk low enough, knew there were lower depths to sink to still-- and he didn't want to go there. No matter what. He could imagine the others like Sephiroth, sick freaks bringing in their prizes on leashes, people debased so far they could barely remember their own families or friends or hobbies. No. He refused to be like that.

Shoving Sephiroth away as hard as he could manage, Mello turned from him. It was a split-second decision weeks in the making.

He was standing on his own two legs. He was uncollared. He was battered and worn, but his will was still his own.

And nobody was coming for him.

Right now, everything was bleak and hopeless and the only future available was that of slavery. Mello had never been suicidal or depressive, never favored the easy way out or condoned it; but things had changed. There was no easy. This was the only way out. He wasn't thinking straight and he didn't care, knuckles still stinging from the abuse earlier and he didn't care, breathing ragged. Nothing mattered.

He was already near the window. There were no weapons in sight and no time to be innovative.

He grabbed the lamp off the desk first, hurling it with all his strength at the window, hard enough with adrenaline and desperation fueling his actions to crack it substantially. And then he aimed to go straight through it himself. If the fall didn't kill him, there would be glass sharp enough to finish the job.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

What he didn't take into account was that Sephiroth wouldn't stay still, that he never intended to allow him the harm he was clearly aiming for. No, instead it was a matter of speed and quiet caution, slipping up stealthily behind the blond to grab him around the waist to prevent his momentum from getting anywhere near the window.

"Mello, you still have -your- name. Your throat is still bare, and your back is unmarked. Do you not -understand-?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"It doesn't matter!" Mello screamed, thrashing in his grip, tearing at Sephiroth's arms with his nails.

He was beside himself, clinging to the gossamer-thin strand of something that might have been sanity, or it might have been delusion, and he couldn't tell the difference.

"All of that means nothing until you accept that you cannot own me!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Owning you is the only option you leave me to -have-. I would give you myself if you would simply give me you, though I am aware you don't want that either." He tightened his hold, determinately ignoring the pain of the attack.

[gunsandchocolate]

"You don't deserve that sort of acceptance," Mello snarled viciously, every word biting, and his continued struggling and attacking were just as vehement.

"If trapping people and calling them your pets is the only sort of affection you can get for yourself, you're fucking pathetic. Rot in hell!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Specifics clearly escape you." He muttered this with no small amount of irony. "If I wanted that from someone else, I know someone who would gladly do so, courtesy of nothing I ever did. There would be no fight and it would be worth -nothing-, no matter -how- pretty he is. As for what it has to do with you....your stubbornness reminds me a bit of someone who died, enough that it let me decide I wanted -you-." He squished him hard against his chest, enough to make breathing a tad less difficult. "You caught my attention by having qualities I liked, now you get to live with it."

[gunsandchocolate]

"Specifics don't matter in this situation," Mello defended himself stiffly, squirming helplessly beneath the crushing force of Sephiroth's embrace. It was hard to breathe, and he craned his head away, gasping slightly.

"You're sick. I don't care who I remind you of, you're fucking psychotic and sick. Let me go!"

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

He huffed softly, dipping his head to murmur directly in his ear. "Why haven't I fucked you?"

[gunsandchocolate]

"Because you're waiting for me to be properly obedient and want you," he scoffed, perfectly sure of his answer, though refusing to believe it would ever happen.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"No." It was a simple, soft, reply. "I would like to be wanted, yes, but that has no bearing on sex. Try again."

[gunsandchocolate]

"And I'm never going to want you," Mello growled, still trying to get him to let go. "I can't breathe," he pointed out suddenly, partly in displeasure at being wrong.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"You will, in time. No, I haven't fucked you because -you-." He paused, leaned in, voice gentle and low as he eased his hold a fraction. "Are fragile."

[gunsandchocolate]

"I am not fragile!" Mello scoffed resentfully, using the small bit of room he had to shove at Sephiroth's chest again. He didn't think it bore repeating that he'd never want the fucker either. Apparently Sephiroth was just going to ignore that fact, and the fact that driving him insane first didn't fucking count.

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"So if I had sex with you right now, it wouldn't affect you on any sort of level?" His tone was more than doubting.

[gunsandchocolate]

"You don't care what affects me poorly," Mello shot back scathingly. He was far from asking for Sephiroth to rape him-- merely pointing out that it had already been that bad, and Sephiroth hadn't cared, so why start now?

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"Mello." He shifted in place, turning the blond slightly. "If I didn't care what affected you poorly I would have had sex with you. Not only that, but I would have heightened your every sense and made you crave my touch so badly you couldn't think without me near you." He shook his head slowly, meeting his eyes with those strange feline ones he hadn't bothered to hide since the first time he'd taken his contacts. "I would not have healed you, I would have left whatever marks whim had dictated, and I would have made you like that as well. I actually care what you are, however, so I've done none of that. I haven't turned you into the obedient simpering creature I could because that is not what I -want- no matter what you believe."

[gunsandchocolate]

Mello listened silently, falling still. His voice when he spoke was resigned, but still cold. "I believe you. But, to me, the difference is small. And, fundamentally, slavery is the same."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"I don't want a toy, my detective, I want a pet. Those things are so different you'll never comprehend."

[gunsandchocolate]

"You're right," Mello agreed scathingly. "I won't. But that's because neither is an option I consider tolerable."

[giftsofglory.livejournal.com]

"It's not so different from having a lover, I would just have a bit more control."

[gunsandchocolate]

"That last part is what makes it completely different," Mello corrected in a low hiss.

"A lover is an equal."